Why Clutter Hits Harder in Perimenopause, with Professional Organizer Amy Ege

All right, hi everyone. Welcome back to a Gyno Girl Presents Sex, Drugs and Hormones. I'm Dr. Smita Raman, Gyno Girl. Thank you for joining me for another episode. Today I have a wonderful guest who has a personal relationship with me. I'm gonna talk about as I introduced her, Amy Louise Eggy, who is a wonderful professional organizer. And so I wanna talk about all the things. And I'll start by telling, well first, Amy Louise, welcome.

Welcome to my podcast.

Amy Ege (: 01:52

Thank you. Happy to be here.

Sameena Rahman (: 01:53

Thanks. So I'm super excited to talk to you because I think you have a very unique perspective, but I want to talk about the reason I decided to ask you to be on my podcast. And it is a personal reason, right? I think for most women in midlife, we're pretty busy and some of us have careers and some of us take care of, you I was talking about, it's like a juggling game of like career. Some people have families that they take out of parents, kids, you know, some people are pivoting and doing other things. so life can be very hectic.

And I feel like for the longest time, I went to medical school, did residency and all the things. as solo, was kind of like relatively like kept things together, but it wasn't something that I was driven to organize ever. And I never really saw any benefit. I mean, I was like, okay, fine. Someone's house looks better than mine. But like, okay, I feel a little shameful, but like, whatever. I don't have time for that. Like I'd rather be, I used to say I'd rather be exercising than organizing because like for me, like that was mental.

until I hit perimenopause.

And then I was like, there, and I think it was, for those of you who've listened to my podcast, you know, I kind of helped with some caretaking for my in-laws when they were still around, unfortunately they're both passed and I just lost my mother in the last six, seven months. And so I think these real traumatic events in my life were like things just started piling up in the house, you know, cause like, okay, now I have to, right after work, I have to go check on this person. I'm born in the hospital to check on this person or I'm driving my kids to their, you know,

whatever

Sameena Rahman (: 03:29

basketball league, you know, travel stuff that they're doing. And it became a lot, right? And I feel like at some point, and I've used, and I think I told you, I've used professional organizers for when I moved and other things because I wanted to start fresh. But it was so interesting that when I realized like, at one point I almost had an anxiety attack about it. It was like the chaos in my house had just accumulated and the chaos in my brain was making it worse. And so we know

menopause is like a time of chaos. And then I was like, I just need to, I need to get someone here again. And, and I've chosen, I always chose to get professional organizers because you guys have a talent that I don't have. Like, I feel like, you know, I'm a great gynecologist, sex med doctor, you know, I have a talent that you don't have, and you don't have talent that I don't. And so I feel like, you know, there are ways that people bring in, that bring in their talent and really can organize a space in such a great way. But I think that was what hit me. It was like, my God, I mean, I can't know.

And I was so angry all the time because the house was so, you know, whatever. And my kids weren't doing their work, my husband. And so when I reached out to you, I was like, I just need help. I just need you to fix this. And I didn't know.

Amy Ege (: 04:41

I remember.

Sameena Rahman (: 04:42

And I don't know if that's, and so, and since then, like, you know, after my mother died, I you come and help me declutter, but like, there are these times that like the clutter can actually make the chaos worse. And so, tell me a little bit about that. Well, actually, I want to hear also how you came into this space because it's not like you grew up one day and said I wanted to be a professional or did you? No, I don't.

Amy Ege (: 04:53

100%.

Amy Ege (: 05:05

Yeah, no, I did not. Very astute.

Sameena Rahman (: 05:07

I don't think it existed except for the last maybe, I don't know, 15 years or so, like I feel like.

Amy Ege (: 05:13

Yeah, that's probably right. no, so yeah, there is actually. So people, feel like the field is not as well known. I'm really happy that you knew about this resource because not enough people know about it, but it is becoming more well known now with social media and TV shows and popular authors like Marie Kondo and the Home Edit. And so it's kind of rising more to the

Sameena Rahman (: 05:15

Because there's a society, too, right? There's like a society of...

Amy Ege (: 05:40

public consciousness that this is a thing that exists. But I feel like sometimes some of those more popular programs and things like they create a lot of misconceptions too. And so like if you are reading Marie Kondo, you might get in your head working with an organizer is about getting rid of all my stuff. You might kind of go there and think, I don't want to do that. Or if you're watching the home edit, you might think, okay, I don't.

Sameena Rahman (: 05:54

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 06:04

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 06:08

I just need to calm the chaos. I don't need to turn my closet into a rainbow. And so there's that. But you're right. The National Association of Professional Organizers, NAPO, there's other organizations, so that's kind of the leading organization. It was founded in 1985. So organizing has been around and growing for a long time, and it's growing every year.

Sameena Rahman (: 06:13

I'm sorry.

Amy Ege (: 06:36

you know, with good reason. People have a lot of stuff. They need help with it. People are really busy as you're describing in your own life. And the way I came to it is I had a completely other different career before this. I worked, you know, 20 years in the nonprofit arena, much of that time doing fundraising for a lot of Chicago's cultural and civic organizations. And I just decided

kind of around probably when perimenopause was hitting me. I think you and I are about the same age. Yeah, no, I just, it was the combination of that. It was the combination of just getting older, pausing during COVID and just really examining my life and saying, what am I doing with my life? And I was fortunate to be able to take a pause and really think about that. And

Sameena Rahman (: 07:08

Pivoting.

Sameena Rahman (: 07:18

Yes.

Amy Ege (: 07:29

This is what I came to through a journey of self-discovery. I've always been really organized. I love working with people. I love working one-on-one with people. All of my prior skills were transferable to the business side of this. So it was kind of a no-brainer. And so I've been doing this a little over two years. So I'm kind of a newbie at it. But there is so much demand. I am booked solid all the time. I have to turn people away. I know.

I try to leave a little bit of room in my schedule for clients who call me because I do get a lot of past clients calling me to come back. And so I want to be able to help them.

Yes, we should talk.

Sameena Rahman (: 08:14

What I love that Amy also does is like she takes all the things that you would want to donate like I would like if I had the time and space in my brain or like whatever I would want to take all the clothes that I don't wear or the clothes and the shoes that my kids don't wear and donate it to somebody that could use it and and a lot of times, know previously it would maybe end up in the trash or something and which is unfortunately just really contributing to the whole issue around our you know waste management in this country, but I feel like I

I found that to be such a compelling reason to actually align with you too, is that you're gonna take this and you're gonna figure out the tax deductions and you're gonna figure out this and that. And it was just like, wow, I love this. Cause then you feel like you're not wasting all that stuff.

Amy Ege (: 09:00

Yeah, absolutely. That is one of the things that I consistently hear is really, really beneficial to the women I work with is that if we do a big decluttering session, that stuff goes away that same day. And they feel this sense of relief of just the weight lifting. as you know, I bring these huge blue IKEA bags that I buy in bulk online.

Sameena Rahman (: 09:25

We're still in the early part.

Amy Ege (: 09:26

And they're so great because you could really like, I'm like a pack animal carrying those bags out to my car, but it's wonderful. I feel good too, even when it's not my stuff, it's cathartic for me too. I just love helping people thin down their possessions so that they can reclaim their spaces and regain that peace. Because usually, one of the big problems I think is that sometimes we try to like sort of shop our way out of clutter.

Sameena Rahman (: 09:44

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 09:55

you

Amy Ege (: 09:56

Every store, I don't know if you've noticed this, but every big box store, Home Depot, Target, everywhere, Costco, they all have these growing sections where they sell big plastic bins and baskets and things. Well, everybody does. I I have them too. They could be useful, but what I see a lot is that people will have a lot of those and they just put stuff into them.

Sameena Rahman (: 10:11

You saw how many I had in my house.

Sameena Rahman (: 10:15

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 10:23

as solution, but really what you're doing in that case is just kind of deferring decisions. You're kind of kicking the can down the road. You're going to have to make those decisions about those items at some point. So sometimes it really is, it makes sense to store some sports gear in a bin and you label it and that's what it is. But a lot of people, myself included, go through a process of, just need to clear off this surface. Into a bin it goes and then it lives in the closet and comes back to haunt you another day.

Sameena Rahman (: 10:33

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 10:53

And yeah, so I think really what the problem is for most people is they have just too much stuff. We live in a consumer society. all do. Things are readily available. Things are, well, they're getting more expensive, but they're relatively inexpensive and easy to get, and especially for people who have kids. Kids.

Sameena Rahman (: 10:53

So.

Sameena Rahman (: 11:12

Amazon, right? Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 11:16

They bring stuff, you know, once their school age, they're bringing stuff home from school every single day. They're going to birthday parties. They're having their own birthday parties there. They have relatives who love them and give them things. You have the holidays. They're outgrowing their clothes every six to 12 months, you know. So it's like the stuff is accumulating and accumulating and accumulating. And unless you make decluttering and donating things your hobby, which who does that except me? But, know,

Sameena Rahman (: 11:43

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 11:44

Like you're going to have too much stuff in your house if you have kids. It's like a guarantee. And so I think how this aligns with perimenopause is kind of what you're talking about of like life is just going along and everyone I work with, very competent women who have successful careers, they have awesome kids, they're doing all kinds of stuff, they're doing all the things. And then bam, one day their house becomes

Sameena Rahman (: 11:47

Yeah. Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 12:14

like the enemy, it's like attacking you. And I think it's really kind of a combination of you have way too much on your plate. And there are busy seasons of life. There are times when you really cannot be balanced. You have to make a choice. Am I going to work out today? Or am I going to deal with this pile of stuff? And you have to make that judgment call.

And so it's not really realistic for women to expect themselves to be able to do all those things. Managing a household, I mean, it can be a full-time job, right? Like it's a lot. And especially if more stuff is coming in and the new things, even if they're wonderful things, maybe they don't have a home or it's full of the old stuff that you've outgrown and you just haven't had time to go through that stuff yet, right? And so it just kind of ends up accumulating in all these.

Sameena Rahman (: 13:06

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 13:09

weird places and you can't use certain spaces anymore. so yeah, it's then on top of that, if you are at this stage of life that we're at, your hormones are up and down all the time. And it's like, it's a sneaky transition. I work with a lot of people who are going through transitions, moves, new baby. It's a big time to call an organizer if you're going through some sort of transition. But I feel like this transition is different because it's so long and you often

Sameena Rahman (: 13:13

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 13:39

don't know it's happening until you're well into it, right? And sometimes you go to a doc, I mean, in my case, I went to a couple of different healthcare professionals, I'm not doing well, this is this, this is happening, I'm feeling this way. And no one ever suggested, oh, well, let's look at your age, looking at your age, this could be a factor that never came up. And so,

Sameena Rahman (: 13:41

Yeah.

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 14:05

I really did have to advocate for myself to get the hormone replacement therapy that I needed, which is going really well. It's made a big difference in my life. I listen to your podcast and I know you talk about Alloy and the online platforms. I'm actually a patient with MIDI and it's been really helpful. I'm kind of getting off track here, but my point is when all of these fluctuations are happening,

Sameena Rahman (: 14:23

Okay. Yes.

Amy Ege (: 14:35

and then your house is completely out of control. You're managing five things and suddenly you can't sleep or you're having hot flashes or you're super irritable. You're just so cranky with everyone, right? Like you just, it's like everyone's working your last nerve.

Sameena Rahman (: 14:46

Yes. Yeah. Which is the biggest thing I think. Yes. Which I think is the biggest thing I hear all the time, which is irritability. Like, and so what makes you more irritable is like this pile of crap that you've been looking at for the last, like, why is it still here? And then you're like, Hey, I told you to pick this up guys. What happened here? You know, it's like then creates chaos in the home, right? Cause like,

Amy Ege (: 15:01

You get angry at it. Like you want to kick it, right?

Amy Ege (: 15:11

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 15:12

You feel unsettled because of this all of a sudden and maybe they don't feel unsettled because they're doing their thing. unless, I feel like most husbands, unless they have little bit of OCD to be honest, like if they have a little bit obsessive about cleaning and neatness, they're not gonna really participate as much, I feel like.

Amy Ege (: 15:20

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 15:35

Can we can we talk about the shame though associated because America because I mean, like I even I was like, please don't don't think don't think worse than me. Look at this. And I show you my closet and you're like, what? What's there? There's so much shame associated with not being able to maintain a household. I feel at least I don't know. Like at least that's the that's one of the shames. And I'm pretty like

Amy Ege (: 15:47

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 15:57

shame free on a lot of topics. But I don't know if that's because of like, you know, my cultural upbringing or like the fact that like, I've accepted a heteronormative role of like, okay, housekeeping is primarily, you know, my responsibility, even though blah, blah, blah, you know what I'm saying? Like, don't know what it is. And so and so there's like, you know, because just like everything gets blamed on the mom, everything gets blamed on the homemaker.

Amy Ege (: 16:13

Absolutely.

Amy Ege (: 16:23

Yeah. Yeah. mean, even if it's just self-blame, that's enough, right? Like having a negative message in your head isn't doing you any favors. And so, yeah, I mean, there is a tremendous amount of shame on the part of women about the state of their homes. And sometimes it's very common for me to have a client when I first see their home come in for the consult or whatever.

Sameena Rahman (: 16:27

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 16:50

to ask me, like, is this the worst you've ever seen? And sometimes it's like not even remotely close. Like not even, it's like, this kind of looks like my house right now. Like, I think you're fine. But like everybody has, so many women have that feeling and they think that, like, and I don't know why that is. I think partly it is because women in the roles of, you know, our heteronormative patriarchal society, like,

Sameena Rahman (: 16:58

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 17:05

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 17:19

we tend to take on more responsibility for that, even if it's self-ascribed responsibility. And so there's that. But then I also think that it's because we're not honest with each other. We don't invite people into our homes when it's a mess. In fact, if someone's house gets to a point of messiness, they'll maybe stop inviting people over, or they just.

Sameena Rahman (: 17:25

Mm-hmm. Right.

Sameena Rahman (: 17:44

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 17:45

shut the door to certain rooms or don't let people look in the garage, know, where they're kind of like hoarding stuff.

Sameena Rahman (: 17:52

Do you have a friend's episode where Monica had her closet of... It was her closet of shame.

Amy Ege (: 17:57

Yep. Yep, exactly. And so a lot of the mess can be hidden. It's very common to walk into houses and be like, why are they calling me? This house looks beautiful. And they'll say, just wait. And then they open the closet and stuff starts falling out. It's just like that kind of thing. But I think it's because we just don't see it. It's kind of a hidden problem. And we're bombarded.

with images online and on television all the time of these unrealistic expectations of what a home should look like. They're usually TV sets or they've been created very intentionally by a team of people. So I think we just default to that, yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 18:34

Yeah. mean, even if you think about when you sell your home, I remember the last time I sold one of our houses, like before we moved into this one, like we had to move out and have it staged. That was what the realtor was like, well, I don't think it'll sell unless you move out and have it staged. And you're like, what? So it's unreal, right? I mean, I guess it's the idea of people not being able to see themselves in someone else's space.

Amy Ege (: 18:55

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 19:02

Yeah. So yeah, unfortunately. then I think also that, mean, I don't know. I think the other end of the spectrum of media is there's TV shows about hoarding and things like that too. I think people start to think, am I going that direction? And I think there could be some shame and concern associated with that.

Sameena Rahman (: 19:17

That's That was gross.

Sameena Rahman (: 19:24

Yeah.

Yeah, I think we're gonna end up in a pile of stuff that people can't find me.

Amy Ege (: 19:31

Right. Am I going to die in a pile of my own stuff? And so of course, that's kind of a far-fetched scenario for the vast majority of people. Obviously, it's a real problem for some people, but not most people. And I think that they think I'm not the kind of person that needs help in this way. Like you were saying, this was never a problem for you. Why is it a problem now? Why can't I do this now? And it's because perimenopause hits.

Sameena Rahman (: 19:52

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 20:01

It hits at a season of life when you are full tilt career, full tilt family. You're helping parents at that stage of life usually. So you have a lot on your plate and something's got to give. So really there is no shame in just saying like, I could use an extra pair of hands. I could use some accountability. I could use some structure to just kind of chip away at this and reclaim my home.

Sameena Rahman (: 20:25

Right? No, absolutely. And I felt like that's one way I kind of jive with you too, is that you haven't understand. Like, because I've met other organizers who like, you either don't have kids or don't, you know what I'm saying? Like, and I was like, I always felt this shame I put on top, not that you have to have any of that, but like, it was a self induced shame. Like, well, like, you know, you just feel like, they don't get it because blah, blah, Do you know what I'm saying? But I felt like the that you were kind of like, really open to me about.

Amy Ege (: 20:47

Yeah. Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 20:53

how you've experienced things and how you felt that made me very comfortable with saying, please come into my house and take everything away. Take everything. Although my kids at some point were like, wait, is Miss Amy gonna come take everything away? I like, I hope so.

Amy Ege (: 20:58

that's good.

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 21:09

Yeah, that's always the concern. do love when the kids are around though. It's always fun. You have great kids, so.

Sameena Rahman (: 21:14

Yeah, especially Zora likes to help with the...

Amy Ege (: 21:19

Yep, is a big help. She's actually very decisive. She knows what she wants to keep and she knows what she wants to get rid of. So I love that about her.

Sameena Rahman (: 21:24

Let's talk about this basket fix mix you admit you talked about one of your blogs. I really liked that.

Amy Ege (: 21:34

yeah, no, I mean, it's kind of what I was talking about before of just like trying to sort of like buy your way out of the problem. And I would say for me, like my process is really, it reverses that. you know, so usually what I end up doing, so one of the big misconceptions about organizing is a lot of times people think it's like a cleaning service that they're gonna come in,

Sameena Rahman (: 21:37

with the containers.

Sameena Rahman (: 21:44

Thank

Amy Ege (: 22:03

and just do it for you, right? And like, if you do not want to part with a single item and don't have too many items, sure, I can come in and do something aesthetic and like make it look pretty, but that is not what I do 99.9 % of the time. And so in terms of like buying products, like baskets and bins and things like that, that's always like the last step if needed in a process. And I don't think, well, you and I have

Sameena Rahman (: 22:05

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 22:33

Not a lot of products. mean, it's mostly just sort of decluttering and then getting out the old, making room for the new, and then reorganizing it in a way that works. So what I do is I do a lot of body doubling because as you know, you're the only one who can make a decision about your stuff. So when we worked on your closet, you made those decisions and judgment calls about what am I going to wear, what am I not going to wear.

Sameena Rahman (: 22:33

We just did some bangers, really.

Sameena Rahman (: 22:42

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 23:00

when I worked with the kids, they made the decisions about what toys am I done with? And I loved it. I love working with kids and I love working with Zoya because we talked about like, this is something that could go to another child that they could play with and enjoy and she loved that. She got really into that idea and was thinking it through. Like I would like this to go to another child. And so it was really sweet. But yeah, so.

For the decluttering portion, it's often about body doubling. Now, I do work with a lot of busy professionals like you who can't give me hours at a time. So in that case, what I'll do is I can do some categorization, some sorting for them, and just ask questions. I I think I've sent you pictures and said, here's a pilot stuff I think can go. Just think about it when you get home.

Sameena Rahman (: 23:50

Yeah, like this one has a hole in it. Are you sure you want to talk?

Amy Ege (: 23:54

Exactly. And then in terms of reorganizing it and putting it back, that's a part that with a little bit of guidance from you, I can do more independently than the decluttering. So let's put summer clothes here. Let's put this here, that kind of thing. And then if you need any products, that's the absolute last thing we'll focus on. Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 24:20

And I like also like once you've established the room and you've come in a couple of times, I'm just like, you know, things have gotten hectic. Can you just come and you just came in and just redid every like, refold every did everything. And it was just like, okay, I feel good about life.

Amy Ege (: 24:33

I love that. And that actually raises a really good point is that this is not a one and done situation because as you know, your house is a place you live in all the time. It's constantly getting used. You have those high traffic, high use areas and it's going to get messy. And so, you know, the goal of creating these good supportive systems is to enable you to be able to reset more easily and tidy up more easily. But like when things start to break down again, you've got to

You've got to refresh it. You've got to rethink your systems. You've got to do that seasonal swap out of your clothes or whatever the case may be, which is kind of what we were doing with you last time, I believe. It's like, OK, we still have winter clothes and it's almost summer here. So yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 25:10

Yes. Almost. Yeah. I like some of the quotes you had here in one of your blogs about how many American households have, you know.

the amount that it costs, the industry here that in terms of renting and storage, like we live in Chicago, obviously, so the space is limited for most people to live in. And so I've always had a storage space, you know, in this, as long as I've lived here, although we recently got rid of the final one. I was like, let's get rid of that storage space once we fall for all. And so you had a quote, how much, how much do you have read that, how much people spend on storage every year?

Amy Ege (: 25:30

Mm-hmm.

Amy Ege (: 25:34

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 25:54

guys.

Amy Ege (: 25:55

Yeah, it's a $60 billion industry and growing at about 7 to 8 % a year. I think it would be a really great industry to invest in because I don't think it's going anywhere. And it really is, in my opinion, and I spend a lot of time at people's storage units with them. We'll get to a point where we're sorting through their storage unit. And it is stuff that like

Sameena Rahman (: 26:02

Thank

Yes. Right.

Amy Ege (: 26:21

they just haven't looked at or touched in years. Sometimes it's not even sentimental stuff. It's just random kind of clothes that are so out of season, out of style, like they would never wear them again. And, you know, I think it is just that decision fatigue of like having to deal with it in the moment. It's just easier to buy a storage unit and put it in there than it is to go through item by item and say, it just, it's like, I think it's just easier. And I think the problem is that

Sameena Rahman (: 26:26

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 26:44

So true.

Amy Ege (: 26:51

then in the back of your mind, you always know that you have this like thing out there full of stuff. You're not even sure what's in it. You're paying a little bit of good hard earned money for it every month. And you know that someday it's gonna come back to haunt you or your loved ones, right? And so it's like, I don't think it's like the end of the world if people have a storage unit full of stuff they're never gonna use again. Like I'm not alarmist about it, but.

Sameena Rahman (: 27:06

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 27:17

It is telling of how we think about ourself. It's so much easier to defer decisions. And so I think working with an organizer forces you to sort of like address it head on and just makes it so much easier. Like you just aren't alone in it. I like to make it fun. It's like a conversation. We're just having fun. If I see that my client is getting overwhelmed or tired, I will have them take a break, go get some water, leave the room, sit down.

Sameena Rahman (: 27:27

Yes.

Sameena Rahman (: 27:36

Alright.

Sameena Rahman (: 27:42

You did, sometimes you needed break, sometimes you... I don't know. Like I think it gets overwhelming for some people when they look at some clothes or items and they're like, I just don't... Like I have friends or family that are a little indecisive about it and they don't know what they would do with that stuff, but they don't want to give it away. And so for me, could just like, think I could just slash a lot of stuff because I'm just so at that point where I'm just like done. But you know, like my husband's not that way.

Amy Ege (: 28:09

Yeah, and you have to be have a readiness for it. You have to be ready to say goodbye to things. And that's another misconception is that people are worried that organizers are going to make them do things that they aren't ready to do. And that's never the case. You know, if someone tells me they want to keep something, I really respect that, you know, it doesn't matter what the reason is, if they want to keep it, it's their thing and they can keep it period. And yeah, so it's

Sameena Rahman (: 28:35

Right. But it's nice to get permission. Sometimes you're like, well, you think I should keep it? And you're like, if it means that much to you, keep it. And then I'm like, OK. It's like giving.

Amy Ege (: 28:45

Well, it's funny. Yeah, it's funny you say that permission because people will want to get rid of something. It took me a while to figure this out, but like they kind of want to get rid of it, but they feel guilty and they won't do it unless I tell them it's okay. And then as soon as I say, well, I think you could get rid of that if you wanted to, they'd be like, okay, great. And it's gone. And I'm like, oh, they just needed permission. So.

Sameena Rahman (: 29:01

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 29:06

Yeah, I need you to acknowledge that this was okay to do. Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 29:12

Yeah. But I think just thinking about like how stressful life is at this stage of life and also just with the hormonal shifts of perimenopause and all that goes with that, like, I just think I'm very, very passionate about the importance of having a calm, peaceful home because we are all so busy. We are just out there in the world. We're working so hard.

Sameena Rahman (: 29:36

Yes.

Amy Ege (: 29:39

We're running here and there. We're taking our kids to their activities. And when we finally have the chance to come together as a family at the end of the day, it's like the place you come home to has to support you. It has to be a place of peace and calm and joy, not a constant source of stress and anger. yeah, so I think that is why it's so important to take it seriously, especially at this stage of life.

Sameena Rahman (: 29:51

Yes.

Sameena Rahman (: 29:59

Yeah, no true.

Sameena Rahman (: 30:07

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 30:08

you know, don't if it's if it's driving you crazy, there's probably a reason why, you know, like, don't ignore it.

Sameena Rahman (: 30:13

And I think there's so little things that people will find joy in anymore, or they feel pleasure from. Actually, I'm going to talk to...

Dr. Tiffany Moore, I mean, sorry, Dr. Tiffany Moon, sorry. She is, she wrote, she's an anesthesiologist who wrote joy prescriptions. And so it's, it's kind of similar theme, right? Where it's like, what, you know, you do all the things you meet, you're supposed to be everywhere at all the same time, but what is actually bringing you that joy? And for me in those periods of time, what brought me great joy was to come home to an organized house, you know? Like I felt, I feel so good now. Like.

Amy Ege (: 30:48

Yes.

Sameena Rahman (: 30:51

It's good.

Amy Ege (: 30:52

And that in turn gives me joy when I get a text review later that day saying, thank you, I love it, or it feels so much better.

Sameena Rahman (: 30:58

Yeah, I have peace again, you know, because I think you're right. There's so little that gives us peace anymore. If you watch the news, there's no peace. you go out and on social media, there's like, you know, people are, you know, bad-mouthing people that you might know or you're trolling you or whatever. There's no peace. And so it's like you got to find peace somewhere. And I found peace in having you organize my house. yeah.

Amy Ege (: 31:01

Mm-hmm.

Amy Ege (: 31:19

Yeah.

I'm so glad. That's so great. Yeah, it is. It's great. It's a good thing to do for ourselves. It's a good investment in ourselves.

Sameena Rahman (: 31:34

What do you find, like what's your favorite thing to do when it comes to organizing? Like what is it that, like, cause I remember showing you one room or something one time and like, you know, like you must feel, you always get the sense that people who love to organize feel so uncomfortable when they come into a space that's so disorganized. And you're like, no, I love this.

Amy Ege (: 31:55

Yeah, I'm a little weird like that, but I don't know. mean, it's all good. I like working in areas that have a lot of just weird miscellaneous stuff. Like I love utility closets and like basements and because I have fun making the categories and like finding the like, okay, yeah, the connection. I like seeing like, okay, I see this family has batteries stored in six different places in the house. Let's create one universal place for that and put a label on it.

Sameena Rahman (: 32:07

yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 32:13

the connection.

Amy Ege (: 32:23

so that everybody knows when they need a battery, this is where they go. And so I like working in spaces like that and just making them functional.

Sameena Rahman (: 32:27

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 32:34

Do you have a messy drawer in your house? Like what's your messiest drawer?

Amy Ege (: 32:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great question. Yes, I certainly do. I have the traditional Midwestern junk drawer in my kitchen, and I have one in my bedroom too. And what it is is like it's a place for those miscellaneous items to go. They just don't have another place. But I do use containers in there to kind of create some lanes and compartments. And then what I do is when it gets to a point that it's bothering me, like I can't close the drawer anymore, I can't find the things I needed it in anymore.

I'll just dump it all out on the bed or on the countertop or whatever and sort, sort, sort, purge, purge, purge, and then put it all back nice and neat. And then it's fine for a few months again. And then you just repeat the process when it gets to a pain point. Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 33:18

Yeah. Yeah. What do you think your favorite like organizing hack is? Like if you could tell someone to hack organizing, like what would be?

Amy Ege (: 33:29

Hmm, that's a good question. I feel like I should know this off the top of my head.

Sameena Rahman (: 33:32

Because you have so many. You have so many, I think.

Amy Ege (: 33:35

Yeah, I would say, start small and go for early wins. So if you're doing this on your own, because the universal word I hear from clients, I don't think I have ever spoken to a prospective client who didn't use the word overwhelm in our conversation. They're overwhelmed because they've gotten to a point. They are calling for help at this point. They've probably tried to do some things already and it's not working. And so they're very overwhelmed.

usually the overwhelm stems from not knowing where to begin. And there really is, in my opinion, no correct place to begin. You just pick a spot that's manageable. I mean, it can be something as small as a drawer. It could be a pantry, a small closet. And then I just tell people, take everything out and sort it. Get rid of whatever you can, what's not serving you anymore.

and then put it back in a way that it put the remaining items back in a way that supports you. So put your higher use items lower and easier to reach, put your seasonal items higher and more out of reach or inside deep cabinets, that kind of thing. But just start small because organizing and decluttering is a muscle. It's something you kind of have to practice and gain confidence in if you're not used to doing it.

And if you think I'm going to organize the whole house that I haven't organized in 10 years in one weekend, you are destined for failure. So I would say just do a little bit at a time. Do it when you're in the mood. Do it when you have a chunk of time where maybe your spouse or someone else can watch the kids or when you can get them involved in it, whatever the case may be. And then just enjoy that win. And then when you're ready, when you've had a real pause, a real rest, and you're ready to do it again, pick the next spot.

Sameena Rahman (: 35:03

Yeah.

Amy Ege (: 35:25

and do it that way. And that's how I do my sessions. I don't usually work with people five days a week. I usually work with them one day in a very short, focused session, four hours tops. I leave and then they have an entire week before they have to see me again. And that's very intentional because it's exhausting. It's emotionally and mentally exhausting.

Sameena Rahman (: 35:41

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 35:45

Yeah, that's actually true. You're right. Well, I love everything that you've done and I'm going to put in our show notes how people can reach you. Even though it sounds like she's booked, guys, but maybe she'll make time for some of you with their work.

Amy Ege (: 35:57

I am booked for the moment, but I will have openings very soon. So please check it out. And there's lots of wonderful organizers in Chicago and nationwide.

Sameena Rahman (: 36:00

Crazy, yeah.

Yeah. And you said NAPO was the national... Okay. But anyway, I'll put Amy's info so that you guys can contact her. And she has great blog actually that you'll enjoy reading as well. But I appreciate you being on because I feel like this is an aspect of perimenopause we don't address, which is like the chaos in our head and how the chaos in our house make the chaos in our head worse.

Amy Ege (: 36:08

NAPO, yep, N-A-P-O.

Amy Ege (: 36:31

I really appreciate you being willing to share about your own experience with it because people are ashamed and they don't want to share. And I think by you being so open and honest, it just reveals like you're just like every other woman. You're working hard. You just need a little help with this one thing now and then. It's not a big deal.

Sameena Rahman (: 36:45

Yeah.

Sameena Rahman (: 36:49

Well, and I think that that's one thing, like you feel like, you know, as working women and women who are trying to do it all, you can't do it all and you shouldn't do it all. And you, shouldn't want to do it all. Like I don't, always tell my girls like, don't ever want to do it all. Like there are people that will do it better than you and you hire them to do it for you. You know, like this is like, this is what we have, you know, so hopefully you're in a place where you can do that. But like, you know, I feel like, you know, this myth of having it all is just like a load of crap. know, like it's like, I don't even want to.

Amy Ege (: 37:18

agreed.

Sameena Rahman (: 37:19

I wanted very little and I wanted to do my thing when I can and then that's it. All right, well thank you so much for being on my show today. Again, I'll put all your info on the show notes. Thanks everyone for tuning in to Gyno Girl Presents Sex, Drugs and Hormones. I'm Dr. Smeena Raman. Remember, I'm here to educate so you could advocate for yourself. Please join me on my next episode. Yay.

Amy Ege (: 37:24

Yeah. Yep, absolutely.